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Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Scientists
Alcoholic
Beer
Celebrated
Alcoholics
Scientist
Furious
High
Strain
Without
Dry
Marijuana
Humping
Invented
Cannabis
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
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When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
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