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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Hasten
Phobia
Severe
Aging
Greatest
Study
Fear
Shows

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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.
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I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
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In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
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