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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Marx
Communist
Doe
Pun
Karl
Pasta

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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