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The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Gone
America

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Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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This is America. I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian.
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We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
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