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It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Enjoy
Idea
Ideas
Way
Glacier
Like
Glaciers
Grandchildren
Metaphor
Boxing

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, I command you to do this. The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
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When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.
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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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I am no fan of books.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!
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