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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Wonder
Live
Believe
Love
Syllogisms
Blind
Therefore
Wasn

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
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Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
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I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
Stephen Colbert
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
Stephen Colbert