Quote

Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Partner
Yogurt
Sunset
Attentive
Feed
Spoon
Partners
Considerate
Women
Spoons
Seaside
Cliff
Keats
Cliffs
Candlelight
Organic
Reciting

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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
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And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
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When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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