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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Partner
Yogurt
Sunset
Attentive
Feed
Spoon
Partners
Considerate
Women
Spoons
Seaside
Cliff
Keats
Cliffs
Candlelight
Organic
Reciting

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
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After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
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Yesterday in a 25 to 24 vote, Republicans welcomed back Lott back into their leadership and named him minority whip. That is great for Trent. They say minority whip is a stepping stone to Grand Wizard.
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
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Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
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