Quote

My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Important
Informed
Idiot
Character
Give
Wells
Well
Intentioned
Self
Poorly
Giving
Promotion

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
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In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.
Stephen Colbert
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
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We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
Stephen Colbert
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen Colbert
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Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.
Stephen Colbert
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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
Stephen Colbert
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
Stephen Colbert
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
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