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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Shortage
Opportunities
Clearly
Poor
Opportunity
America
Metaphorical

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Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
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Cameras are dangerous. With no waiting period or background check, any whack-job could just stroll into a Wal-Mart and walk out with a semi-automatic. Now, for years I've been pressing for stricter regulations on cameras, especially around our elected officials. Too many political lives have been cut short by some crazed shooter.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
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Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.
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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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