Quote

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Animal
Friends
Buns
Two
Summed
Animals
Answer
Aren
Answers
Food

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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.
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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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