Quote

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Friends
Buns
Two
Summed
Animals
Answer
Aren
Answers
Food
Animal

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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview wrong.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
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Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
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