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All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Dogs
Accepted
Sorry
Dog
Heaven
Christ
Kids
Truth

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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.
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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
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Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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