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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Bush
Hot
Dog
President

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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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