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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Smug
Superiority
Dedicated
Atheism
Religion
Sense

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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It's a game. That's why we call it 'the news.' It's just a game.
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All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
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We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable on notice? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
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I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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