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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Sense
Smug
Superiority
Dedicated
Atheism
Religion

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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
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Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
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In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.
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Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.
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Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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