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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Angry
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More quotes by Stephen Colbert
There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
Stephen Colbert
It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
Stephen Colbert
Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
Stephen Colbert
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen Colbert
We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
Stephen Colbert
I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
Stephen Colbert
Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
Stephen Colbert
If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
Stephen Colbert
If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
Stephen Colbert
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
Stephen Colbert
I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
Stephen Colbert
Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
Stephen Colbert
There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.
Stephen Colbert
President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
Stephen Colbert
I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.
Stephen Colbert
If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
Stephen Colbert
I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
Stephen Colbert
The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
Stephen Colbert
If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
Stephen Colbert