Quote

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Boxing
Worthy
Persons
Person
Assassin
Satirist
Assassins
Gloves
Satire

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
Stephen Colbert
Image
For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
Stephen Colbert
Image
You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
Stephen Colbert
Image
The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
Stephen Colbert
Image
The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
Stephen Colbert
Image
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
Stephen Colbert