If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.

Repeats are the absolute soul-crushing killers of the comics page.

The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.

Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.