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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
Spike Milligan
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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Humor
Cases
Funny
Lost
Numbered
Policemen
Case
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
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General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
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If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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A lot of learning canbe a little thing.
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!
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If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
Spike Milligan
