Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike Milligan
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Cows
Caught
India
Wife
Thought
Eyesight
More quotes by Spike Milligan
The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
Spike Milligan
General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
Spike Milligan
In the human race today, you came last.
Spike Milligan
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
Spike Milligan
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
Spike Milligan
If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.
Spike Milligan
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Spike Milligan
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan
God made nightButMan made darkness.
Spike Milligan
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
Spike Milligan
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
Spike Milligan
We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
Spike Milligan
If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
Spike Milligan
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
Spike Milligan
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
Spike Milligan
