Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike Milligan
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Eyesight
Cows
Caught
India
Wife
Thought
More quotes by Spike Milligan
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Spike Milligan
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
Spike Milligan
If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
Spike Milligan
General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
Spike Milligan
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
Spike Milligan
God made nightButMan made darkness.
Spike Milligan
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
Spike Milligan
The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
Spike Milligan
If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger and if I die, I won't eat soon.
Spike Milligan
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
Spike Milligan
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
Spike Milligan
Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently
Spike Milligan
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
Spike Milligan