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Its all in the mind, you know.

Spike Milligan

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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Mind

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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
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If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
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In the human race today, you came last.
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We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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