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Its all in the mind, you know.
Spike Milligan
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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Mind
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I'm a hero with coward's legs.
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Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently
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