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We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
Spike Milligan
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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Nothing
Miscellaneous
Humour
Plan
Havens
Haven
Plans
Wrong
More quotes by Spike Milligan
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan
If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger and if I die, I won't eat soon.
Spike Milligan
In the human race today, you came last.
Spike Milligan
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
Spike Milligan
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
Spike Milligan
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Spike Milligan
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan
Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently
Spike Milligan
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
Spike Milligan
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
Spike Milligan
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
Spike Milligan
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
Spike Milligan
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike Milligan
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
Spike Milligan
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
Spike Milligan