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Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan
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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Funny
Money
Better
Sarcasm
Life
Sarcastic
Friendship
Enemy
Class
Friends
More quotes by Spike Milligan
The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike Milligan
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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A lot of learning canbe a little thing.
Spike Milligan
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
Spike Milligan
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
Spike Milligan
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
Spike Milligan
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan
If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen?
Spike Milligan
God made nightButMan made darkness.
Spike Milligan
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
Spike Milligan
In the human race today, you came last.
Spike Milligan
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
Spike Milligan
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
Spike Milligan
Listen, someone's screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently
Spike Milligan
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan