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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan
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Spike Milligan
Age: 83 †
Born: 1918
Born: April 16
Died: 2002
Died: February 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Musician
Poet
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan
Terence Alan Milligan
Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan
Jokes
Singing
Laughing
Told
Wasn
Somebody
Harry
Many
Joke
Years
Spent
More quotes by Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!
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We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I'm a hero with coward's legs.
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Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
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God made nightButMan made darkness.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
Spike Milligan
