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The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.

Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Hope
Anything
Ever
Irving
Much
Guys
Darkness
Fun
Stage
Guy

More quotes by Sloane Crosley

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I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.
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I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.
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Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.
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We've come to expect so little from online privacy measures that public displays of concern about the matter are more or less for show. Being devastated to discover you've been tagged in somebody else's photo has an air of the melodramatic about it at this point.
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I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.
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I don't understand how you can be a decent writer and not know people.
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Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.
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For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.
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I now know my right from my left and my up from my down. Unluckily, my terrible sense of direction remains. For me, to live in New York City is to never be able to meet someone on the northeast corner. It is to never ever make a smooth entrance, always to get caught looking lost on the street.
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Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure.
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Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
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It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.
Sloane Crosley
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Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.
Sloane Crosley
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Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.
Sloane Crosley
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Normally, I am a vocal advocate for 'looking both ways' and 'knowing the size of one's own body.' But working, socialising and simply running errands in Manhattan, means I am bound to break my own rules on occasion.
Sloane Crosley
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I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family.
Sloane Crosley
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I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was one of those kids who contracted cooties in the second grade and then had cooties, because there wasn't a vaccine for it. When I was around people, though, I generally wanted to make them laugh. I told a lot of stories.
Sloane Crosley
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Sometimes we don't know what we want until we don't get it.
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They say it's not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It's the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour.
Sloane Crosley
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I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.
Sloane Crosley