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I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Sound
Less
Happens
Things
Pathetic
Time
Sounds
Spent
Happen
Waiting

More quotes by Sloane Crosley

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I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.
Sloane Crosley
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I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.
Sloane Crosley
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I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was one of those kids who contracted cooties in the second grade and then had cooties, because there wasn't a vaccine for it. When I was around people, though, I generally wanted to make them laugh. I told a lot of stories.
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Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.
Sloane Crosley
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I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno.
Sloane Crosley
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I think it's hard to have a full-time job and write fiction, but for essays, you need to be in the world.
Sloane Crosley
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In New York and LA, there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something.
Sloane Crosley
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For a long time I wanted to draw, but I could never get the proportions right. My still life sketches were the artistic equivalent of someone who has misjudged the space constraints of a postcard, the handwriting shrinking uncomfortably at the bottom.
Sloane Crosley
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There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.
Sloane Crosley
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Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?
Sloane Crosley
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I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I've never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.
Sloane Crosley
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Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure.
Sloane Crosley
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and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.
Sloane Crosley
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For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.
Sloane Crosley
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It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.
Sloane Crosley
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You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'
Sloane Crosley
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My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?
Sloane Crosley
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Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.
Sloane Crosley
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We are only as good as our most extreme experiences
Sloane Crosley
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There's just no concept of layering a thick-sleeved sweater under a coat in L.A. A coat is more of a gesture than a necessity. You know, in case the temperature goes down to 55 degrees.
Sloane Crosley