Quote

I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I've never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.

Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Doesn
Lease
Another
Violently
Persons
Pillow
Person
Plague
Wells
Sign
Well
Stop
Way
Break
Never
Hope
Snoring

More quotes by Sloane Crosley

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My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.
Sloane Crosley
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Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.
Sloane Crosley
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I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.
Sloane Crosley
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It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.
Sloane Crosley
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Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?
Sloane Crosley
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I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.
Sloane Crosley
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I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.
Sloane Crosley
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You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'
Sloane Crosley
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Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.
Sloane Crosley
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My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?
Sloane Crosley
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I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno.
Sloane Crosley
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I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.
Sloane Crosley
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There's an 'Everything must go!' emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn't there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we're not 'ready?' You don't feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper.
Sloane Crosley
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Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.
Sloane Crosley
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My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics.
Sloane Crosley
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No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.
Sloane Crosley
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I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.
Sloane Crosley
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I think the goal with any writing, but especially narrative nonfiction, is to put the blockade of putting your thoughts in this unnatural medium of print and then trying to reach through that and actually convey what's going on, what you think, and make people laugh and recognize themselves while doing it. Definitely the laughing thing.
Sloane Crosley
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The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.
Sloane Crosley
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I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.
Sloane Crosley