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The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with the next thing one sees, one generally does.
Sloane Crosley
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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Jobs
Potion
Fall
Magical
Next
Unlike
Doe
Professional
Firsts
Search
First
Sees
Thing
Generally
Love
Wants
More quotes by Sloane Crosley
I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.
Sloane Crosley
As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge.
Sloane Crosley
As we grow up, it feels like you should either invite people into your life or not. There should be fewer and fewer instances of friends you ‘can only take in small doses.’
Sloane Crosley
Hey there.' I cleared my throat. 'How are you?' I'm engaged!' Incidentally, this is an unacceptable answer to that question.
Sloane Crosley
I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I've never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.
Sloane Crosley
Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.
Sloane Crosley
If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.
Sloane Crosley
Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
Sloane Crosley
I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.
Sloane Crosley
We've come to expect so little from online privacy measures that public displays of concern about the matter are more or less for show. Being devastated to discover you've been tagged in somebody else's photo has an air of the melodramatic about it at this point.
Sloane Crosley
My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics.
Sloane Crosley
The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver's permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl one's car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power.
Sloane Crosley
There's an 'Everything must go!' emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn't there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we're not 'ready?' You don't feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper.
Sloane Crosley
I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as a memoir. They're essays they're not an autobiography.
Sloane Crosley
I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.
Sloane Crosley
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.
Sloane Crosley
I think the rule of thumb should be this: if you preface a sentence about a friend with the phrase, 'I love X, but... ' more than once in any conversation, you should stop hanging out with them.
Sloane Crosley
and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.
Sloane Crosley
I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.
Sloane Crosley
In New York and LA, there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something.
Sloane Crosley