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No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Affair
Begins
Notes
Simple
Ends
Overture
Orchestrated
Note

More quotes by Sloane Crosley

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I am starting to like LA, but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn't have do acclimatize as much as I did to LA
Sloane Crosley
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Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.
Sloane Crosley
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As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.
Sloane Crosley
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I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was one of those kids who contracted cooties in the second grade and then had cooties, because there wasn't a vaccine for it. When I was around people, though, I generally wanted to make them laugh. I told a lot of stories.
Sloane Crosley
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I write on weekends, on vacation, and, really - on deadline and on my floor. Both terrible for the back.
Sloane Crosley
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In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.
Sloane Crosley
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Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.
Sloane Crosley
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My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.
Sloane Crosley
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Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
Sloane Crosley
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I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as a memoir. They're essays they're not an autobiography.
Sloane Crosley
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I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.
Sloane Crosley
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Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.
Sloane Crosley
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I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.
Sloane Crosley
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When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end.
Sloane Crosley
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Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure.
Sloane Crosley
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If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.
Sloane Crosley
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I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.
Sloane Crosley
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The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.
Sloane Crosley
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Let me put it this way: I don't feel as settled as I look. I think that's true of everyone, probably. Except for Beyonce and Jay-Z. I don't think they wake up and think, 'Ugh, when's it going to work out for us? Why can't we catch a break?' Aside from them, I'm pretty sure everyone's life feels a lot less intentional.
Sloane Crosley
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For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.
Sloane Crosley