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I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.
Sloane Crosley
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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Deal
Deals
Bigs
Making
Pixels
Makes
Grin
Amusing
Unless
Type
More quotes by Sloane Crosley
My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics.
Sloane Crosley
There's already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk - except they all apply to you, and all at once.
Sloane Crosley
When I was nine years old, I wrote a short story called 'How to Build a Snowman,' from which no practical snowperson-crafting techniques could be gleaned. The story was an assignment for class and it featured a series of careful but meaningless instructions. Of course, the building of the snowman was a red herring.
Sloane Crosley
Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.
Sloane Crosley
Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
Sloane Crosley
When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end.
Sloane Crosley
Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.
Sloane Crosley
As we grow up, it feels like you should either invite people into your life or not. There should be fewer and fewer instances of friends you ‘can only take in small doses.’
Sloane Crosley
My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.
Sloane Crosley
In New York and LA, there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something.
Sloane Crosley
I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.
Sloane Crosley
No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.
Sloane Crosley
As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge.
Sloane Crosley
In New York and L.A., there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something. You end up having a conversation with how the world receives your work, especially if you are writing narrative, not fiction. Sometimes it is an awkward conversation. It's like group therapy.
Sloane Crosley
Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.
Sloane Crosley
and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.
Sloane Crosley
If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.
Sloane Crosley
In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.
Sloane Crosley
Sometimes we don't know what we want until we don't get it.
Sloane Crosley
Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members is in the shower. No one knows why.
Sloane Crosley