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As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.
Sloane Crosley
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Sloane Crosley
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: August 3
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
State
Given
Thought
States
Yorkers
Done
Apartment
Generous
Killed
Serious
More quotes by Sloane Crosley
I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.
Sloane Crosley
I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family.
Sloane Crosley
As we grow up, it feels like you should either invite people into your life or not. There should be fewer and fewer instances of friends you ‘can only take in small doses.’
Sloane Crosley
Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.
Sloane Crosley
and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.
Sloane Crosley
I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.
Sloane Crosley
Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members is in the shower. No one knows why.
Sloane Crosley
I think the rule of thumb should be this: if you preface a sentence about a friend with the phrase, 'I love X, but... ' more than once in any conversation, you should stop hanging out with them.
Sloane Crosley
As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge.
Sloane Crosley
Every day of my adult life, I have worn at least one piece of jewelry from my maternal grandmother's collection, all of which were manufactured by famed Danish silversmith Georg Jensen. To the naked eye, I am either a Jensen loyalist or a grandmother loyalist. Really I am just a Pretty Things loyalist.
Sloane Crosley
If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.
Sloane Crosley
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.
Sloane Crosley
I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water.
Sloane Crosley
Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?
Sloane Crosley
You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'
Sloane Crosley
Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
Sloane Crosley
Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.
Sloane Crosley
I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.
Sloane Crosley
Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.
Sloane Crosley
In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.
Sloane Crosley
