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If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Please
Tinkle
Sprinkle
Sprinkles
Neat
Wipe
Seat
Seats

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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Brittany and I don't date other people. Why not? It's called being boyfriend and girlfriend.
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Fans always say they laughed and they cried while reading my books. And I tell them that I laughed and cried while writing them.
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Just the fact that you need me to prove I love you is probably a clue it isn’t working
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Sometimes I wish there were do over years or fast forward days
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Great minds think alike.
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What is this?' 'A Smart Car' It looked like an SUV took a dump and out came the Smart Car
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Do you ever lose the ego?” Westford asks me. “Yeah.” When his daughter kisses me, my ego flies out the window.
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With someone you like that much, the lows are as low as the highs are high. Does that make sense?' It does. It also makes me sound bipolar.' Love will do that to a person.
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I wonder if it's medically possible to be addicted to another human being.
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the scary part is that people don't realize how much they've changed .
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Luis is right there.” I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn’t as much of a chick magnet when you get into junior high.
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No, the next time i kiss you it'll last a long, long time. And then when we're done you're gonna realize being turned on is not about experience
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what could i do to make the one i loved love me back ?
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Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west. The sun rises in the east, dickhead. Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.
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I don't belong here. It doesn't matter, because even if I don't belong in this place, she's here and I want to be where she is.
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I believe in lust at first sight.And attraction.But not love.
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And for those of you who want to start any trouble, I have a zero tolerance policy. . . .
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If there's one thing I learned, it's that nobody is here forever. You have to live for the moment, each and every day . . . the here, the now.
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Maggie squeezes my hand. It’s a silent message that everything will be okay. Somehow I believe her. In the end everything will be okay. But hurdles have to be jumped through first.
Simone Elkeles
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- Just do you know, Lenny this isn't a date. - Then what is it? - It's me falling sorry for you, because you're such a loser.
Simone Elkeles