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If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Seat
Seats
Please
Tinkle
Sprinkle
Sprinkles
Neat
Wipe

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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If you let him go and he doesn't come back to you, he wasn't yours to begin with. It's a lesson learned in first grade
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Alex probably brings his dates sharp knives as gifts, in case she'll need one when she's out on a date with him.
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There are no rules to attraction. Jake is nothing like who I wanted.
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Listen, I didn't ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents' DNA, I've got them, and I'm not ashamed to use 'em. Having a face Adonis would admire is one of the few advantages I've been given in life, and I use it to it's full potential whether it's for good or evil.
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It's as if I'm taking away his pain and he's taking away mine.
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I realise it’s going to happen. This girl of my dreams, this girl who is more like me than anyone I’ve ever met, wants to kiss me.
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I want to tell her how much she's become the center of my being. But I can't. The words won't come.
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Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size -Tuck
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One of the things that makes me who I am is the loyalty I have to people I hold close to my heart.
Simone Elkeles
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Oh, God. I'm in big trouble. Because I'm staring. I can't keep my eyes from ogling his chiseled triceps and biceps and every other eps ' he has. The butterflies in my stomach have just multiplied tenfold as my wandering gaze meets his.
Simone Elkeles
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the scary part is that people don't realize how much they've changed .
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and the bananas are overdone.
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Julian, sometimes girls are like junk food. They look good, and they sure taste good… but you know they're not healthy for you and cause cavities so it's better to just leave 'em alone. Got me?
Simone Elkeles
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Three things Marco taught me today race through my mind: boys will lie to your face just to have sex with you, don't trust any boy who says I love you, and never date a boy who lives on the south side of Fairfield.
Simone Elkeles
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And for those of you who want to start any trouble, I have a zero tolerance policy. . . .
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what could i do to make the one i loved love me back ?
Simone Elkeles
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I gave you my heart, but it wasn't enough.
Simone Elkeles
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Being brave is not as easy as it looks.
Simone Elkeles
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This attitude means you haven't met a girl worthy of your attention. You'll want to get caught if the right girl comes along.
Simone Elkeles
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I feel so selfish, because I want the best of both worlds. I want to keep the image I've worked so hard to create.
Simone Elkeles