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If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Sprinkle
Sprinkles
Neat
Wipe
Seat
Seats
Please
Tinkle

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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I flip open my phone to text Jessica: Me: Guess who's pregnant? Jess: u? Me: Get real. Jess: ur mom? Me: yep Jess: Mazel tov!? Me: Don't congratulate me, plz Jess: Could b worse Me: How? Jess: Could be u? Me: I'm a virgin. Jess: Nobody's perfect.
Simone Elkeles
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I can't help but smile as I swipe a lone tear trailing down my cheek. How can I not be crazy in love with this guy? Time away from him didn't change anything. I can't deny him another chance. That would be denying myself.
Simone Elkeles
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You shouldn't love me. I don't deserve you.
Simone Elkeles
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You once said you loved me. Do you still? My sister is watching this exchange between us. She smiles warmly at me, giving me the strength to tell him the truth. I never stopped loving you. Even when I tried desperately to forget you. I couldn't.
Simone Elkeles
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My brain tells me it will be better to just let him go. My heart... not so much.
Simone Elkeles
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-You think I’ve got a big ego and an attitude problem? -I don’t think you do, Carlos. I know it. Unfortunately, it’s a Fuentes flaw. -I’d call it an asset. It’s what makes us Fuentes brothers irresistible. Carlos and Brittany
Simone Elkeles
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The threat of taking something away makes us appreciate it more.
Simone Elkeles
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Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!
Simone Elkeles
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If you could wish on a star right now, what would you wish for?I ask him. For time to stop. Why? He shrugs. Cause I could live forever at this moment.
Simone Elkeles
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And right this second I want to live in ignorant bliss.
Simone Elkeles
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I like that girl more that I can remember likin’ anything in my life. I’m not about to give her up. I’ll start carin’ what people think when I am six feet under.
Simone Elkeles
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And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.
Simone Elkeles
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Julian, sometimes girls are like junk food. They look good, and they sure taste good… but you know they're not healthy for you and cause cavities so it's better to just leave 'em alone. Got me?
Simone Elkeles
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Mildred waves Carlos over. 'Let me look at you.' She eyes him up and down. 'I saw you when you walked in. What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.' 'I suspect I am a hooligan,' he says to her. 'Whatever that means.
Simone Elkeles
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From the moment I laid eyes on you I couldn't stop looking at you. From the moment we talked I couldn't stop arguing with you. From the moment we kissed I couldn't stop kissing you. And from the moment we shared our hopes, fears and insecurities I couldn't stop loving you.
Simone Elkeles
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With someone you like that much, the lows are as low as the highs are high. Does that make sense?' It does. It also makes me sound bipolar.' Love will do that to a person.
Simone Elkeles
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Brittany and I don't date other people. Why not? It's called being boyfriend and girlfriend.
Simone Elkeles
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From the moment I told her about my dad, it was as if her whole body sighed in relief. As if someone else’s misery comforted her, made her feel as if she wasn’t alone.
Simone Elkeles
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There's a point when you have to stop fightin' the whole world.
Simone Elkeles
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No, the next time i kiss you it'll last a long, long time. And then when we're done you're gonna realize being turned on is not about experience
Simone Elkeles