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And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Weapons
Bigger
Advice
Flirt
Pieces
Instructors
Flirting
Access
Piece
Female

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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If you can't share with your friends, who can you share with?
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If you let him go and he doesn't come back to you, he wasn't yours to begin with. It's a lesson learned in first grade
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Maggie squeezes my hand. It’s a silent message that everything will be okay. Somehow I believe her. In the end everything will be okay. But hurdles have to be jumped through first.
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Unfortunately, there are no guarentees in life.
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In the end everything will be okay. But hurdles have to be jumped through first.
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dear kiara, The women in the shop told me that yellow rose represents friendship and red rose shows love. And the rosery is the only thing i own that i care for, its yours i'm yours C
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How funny it is that the most unlikely person sometimes becomes your ally.
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Thoughts of being a pirate and stealing her away to my ship race across my mind. Although I’m not a pirate, and she’s not my captured princess.
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Thing is, I don't like ties. I like to win....by big margins.
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If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.
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No, the next time i kiss you it'll last a long, long time. And then when we're done you're gonna realize being turned on is not about experience
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I cry a lot.' 'Yeah? Well I'm gonna change that.
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What is this?' 'A Smart Car' It looked like an SUV took a dump and out came the Smart Car
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Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west. The sun rises in the east, dickhead. Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.
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I'm ready for something private, private and real
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You know about fixing cars, you're athletic, and you know when to shut up. That last one isn't a skill. Honey, trust me. It's a skill.
Simone Elkeles
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From the look of us, you'd never know we slept in the same bed last night and made out like the world was going to end if we stopped.
Simone Elkeles
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Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size -Tuck
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Trust me, he whispers against my lips. Maggie, you're my paradise.
Simone Elkeles
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Luis is right there.” I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn’t as much of a chick magnet when you get into junior high.
Simone Elkeles