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And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Flirting
Access
Piece
Female
Weapons
Bigger
Advice
Flirt
Pieces
Instructors

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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the scary part is that people don't realize how much they've changed .
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Does she realize she looks like a sunflower, ready to rain sunlight on all who look down upon her?
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If any guy threatened her she'd probably suffocate him with her oversized tee.
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And I’m yours,” I tell him. “Forever and always and then some.
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Gary, who's wearing a coral shirt and white pants, growls to look tough. It doesn't work.
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I hate games I can't win.
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My brain tells me it will be better to just let him go. My heart... not so much.
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And just so you know for the future, I like my double-chocolate chip cookies warm and soft in the middle...and without magnets glued to them. Me, too. When you decide to bake me some, let me know.
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Love is honesty. Love is a mutual respect for one another.
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I've had more students die than I ever thought possible. My husband urges me to quit Fairfield and teach at some school without gang members who live their lives only to die or end up as drug dealers.
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Being brave is not as easy as it looks.
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You’re dangerous,” he says. “Why?” “Because you make me believe in the impossible
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This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it? What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you?
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I want to be wherever you are.
Simone Elkeles
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Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You'll definitely be happier.
Simone Elkeles
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Sometimes I think Ben is right, that the fantasy world is better because reality sucks...but then I look at Nikki and I believe that we can beat the odds.
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Do I hear a challenge?” she whispers, “Oh, Carlos. You know I can’t resist a challenge.
Simone Elkeles
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Is anyone human actually normal? I'm beginning to think being normal is actually abnormal.
Simone Elkeles
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No, the next time i kiss you it'll last a long, long time. And then when we're done you're gonna realize being turned on is not about experience
Simone Elkeles
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We kiss all the time. I clear my throat, then add, We just...do it in private.
Simone Elkeles