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And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Simone Elkeles

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Simone Elkeles
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: April 24
Author
Novelist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Advice
Flirt
Pieces
Instructors
Flirting
Access
Piece
Female
Weapons
Bigger

More quotes by Simone Elkeles

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I gave you my heart, but it wasn't enough.
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It's pure instinct that makes me rebel every time someone tries to control my life and hand out more rules.
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Daddy, What's the horizontal tango?
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Sometimes I think Ben is right, that the fantasy world is better because reality sucks...but then I look at Nikki and I believe that we can beat the odds.
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Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west. The sun rises in the east, dickhead. Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.
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I don't want to always be 'the best I can be.' I just want to be me.
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I can't help but smile as I swipe a lone tear trailing down my cheek. How can I not be crazy in love with this guy? Time away from him didn't change anything. I can't deny him another chance. That would be denying myself.
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Mujer, you own my soul.
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A Mexican guy named Sam pushes Gary Frankel next to Isabel. This guy can break your arm with one snap, asshole. Get out of my sight before I sic him on you, Sam says. Gary, who's wearing a coral shirt and white pants, growls to look tough. It doesn't work.
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What is this?' 'A Smart Car' It looked like an SUV took a dump and out came the Smart Car
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I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck. Whoa, girl, he says taken aback. I thought we were keepin' this thing between us a secret. I hate to tell you, but a bunch of north siders from Fairfield are right over there. And they're starin' at us I don't care. Not anymore Why You only live once
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When my eyes meet his gaze as we're sitting here staring at each other, time stops. Those eyes are piercing mine, and I can swear at this moment he senses the real me. The one without the attitude, without the facade[...]
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Alex, Add it up. No matter how much you want her in your life, she doesn’t belong. A triangle can’t fit into a square. Just pointing out the facts” “Gracias” I don’t point out that if it’s a big enough square, a small triangle can fit inside perfectly. All you have to do is make a few adjustments.
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How funny it is that the most unlikely person sometimes becomes your ally.
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And I’m yours,” I tell him. “Forever and always and then some.
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My brain tells me it will be better to just let him go. My heart... not so much.
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Music is my drug, the one thing that makes me numb.
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Alex probably brings his dates sharp knives as gifts, in case she'll need one when she's out on a date with him.
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I flip open my phone to text Jessica: Me: Guess who's pregnant? Jess: u? Me: Get real. Jess: ur mom? Me: yep Jess: Mazel tov!? Me: Don't congratulate me, plz Jess: Could b worse Me: How? Jess: Could be u? Me: I'm a virgin. Jess: Nobody's perfect.
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Makin' mistakes ain't a crime, you know. What's the use of having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?
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