We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

Incidentally, I'm still looking for acting work, my first love.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.

My first job was at a Chicago night club called Mr. Kelly's.

I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex - and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back to a traffic cop.

Inside was the second LP album of a comedian's performance before an audience.

Though it sold very well, I hated The Edge.

I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.