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Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

Scott Lynch

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Scott Lynch
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: April 2
Author
Novelist
Writer
St Paul
Minnesota
Wind
Rooms
Men
Fart
Commands
Closed
Command
Room

More quotes by Scott Lynch

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There are only three people in life you can never fool--pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof.
Scott Lynch
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You're ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.
Scott Lynch
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Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you.
Scott Lynch
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My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it
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A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.
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I think it’s fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions, the burning certainty that we’re unique geniuses, and the constant fear that we’re witless frauds who are speeding toward epic failure.
Scott Lynch
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What kind of knife is this?” Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains’ inspection. “It’s all wrong. You couldn’t kill anyone with this.
Scott Lynch
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When the sky’s falling, I take shelter under bullshit.
Scott Lynch
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The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.
Scott Lynch
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Advice,' Doña Vorchenza chuckled. 'Advice. The years play a sort of alchemical trick, transmuting one's mutterings to a state of respectability. Give advice at forty and you're a nag. Give it at seventy and you're a sage.
Scott Lynch
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Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they're after an image, not a person.
Scott Lynch
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Maxilan, darling. Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman.
Scott Lynch
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I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But. . .can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!
Scott Lynch
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This is where you and I are headed.... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated
Scott Lynch
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It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery.
Scott Lynch
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Cold walls do not a prison make, nor iron bands a bondsman.
Scott Lynch
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You simply collapsed, sir. In layman's terms, your body revoked its permission for you to continue heaping abuse upon it.
Scott Lynch
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My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush.
Scott Lynch
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I can’t name the poison that’s killing your friend. But the one that’s killing you is called hope.
Scott Lynch
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If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.
Scott Lynch