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Dear God, I understand that if I fail to believe in you, I'll burn in hell for eternity. Thanks for being such a good sport about it.

Scott Dikkers

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Scott Dikkers
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: March 1
Comedy Writer
Film Director
Writer
Eternity
Failing
Hell
Sports
Burn
Understand
Sport
Believe
Thanks
Good
Fail
Dear

More quotes by Scott Dikkers

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That special bond you think you have with your pet is imaginary. As long as it has food and water, you could get hit by a train tomorrow, and your pet wouldn't think anything of it.
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I respect your right to hold your religious beliefs, and if they help you, I think that's great. I would, however, like to inform you that you are a raving kook.
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You have sexual tendencies that are not normal, and you should be ashamed of them.
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A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.
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Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.
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Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.
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If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.
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