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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Asks
Honesty
Columbus
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Wait
Astronaut
Science
Politician
Senator
Earth
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Senators
Look
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Theory
Round
Dead
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Glenn

More quotes by Scott Adams

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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
Scott Adams
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We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
Scott Adams
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
Scott Adams
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
Scott Adams
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
Scott Adams
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
Scott Adams
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
Scott Adams
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
Scott Adams
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
Scott Adams
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
Scott Adams
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
Scott Adams
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
Scott Adams
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
Scott Adams
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Scott Adams
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
Scott Adams
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Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
Scott Adams
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Scott Adams
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
Scott Adams
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
Scott Adams
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
Scott Adams