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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Would
Smart
Wisdom
Getting

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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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The best things in life are silly.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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