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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Every
Loser
Phone
Phones
Conversation
Philosophy

More quotes by Scott Adams

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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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