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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Mean
Spasmodic
Gotten
Doesn
Better
Ever
Firsts
First

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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day
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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
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Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
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If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.
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You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
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He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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