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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
People
Conditioned
Balanced
Analysis
Hatred
Sides
Looks
Take
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More quotes by Scott Adams

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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
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Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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You can change only what people know, not what they do.
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