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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Basically
Car
Ashtray
Rental
Ashtrays
Wheels
More quotes by Scott Adams
If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
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Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
Scott Adams