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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Shakes
Names
Hands
Time
Memorize
Shake

More quotes by Scott Adams

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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
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Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.
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For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.
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Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally
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I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly technology is already way more interesting than other people.
Scott Adams
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
Scott Adams
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
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Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
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Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.
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