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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
Scott Adams
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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Record
Except
Records
Attitude
Better
Optimist
Like
Nuts
Optimism
Exactly
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The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
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Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
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Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a Big Bang at all-it was more of Phhbwt sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the Little Phhbwt theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.
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In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.
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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
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Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.
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I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
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