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God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Fall
Designs
Even
Skulls
Love
Emotions
People
Wouldn
Design
Return
Emotion
Hollowed
Use
Skull

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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
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Home is pretty utopian.
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My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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