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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Amount
Getting
Used
Right
Made
Would
Life

More quotes by Scott Adams

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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.
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If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
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In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
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For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.
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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
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If I had to pick one quality that best predicts success (other than wanting to be successful) it would be the willingness to risk embarrassment.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn't have the capacity for discerning true facts. That's why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It's the best we can do.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.
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I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.
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Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.
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The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
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You might think the word homemade is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.
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Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.
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